


Heavy

by Cosmic_choclet



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sheith Month 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 22:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11815560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmic_choclet/pseuds/Cosmic_choclet
Summary: Shiro hates the look of his hair sometimes. Keith hates it when Shiro is in pain.Day 6: Haircut





	Heavy

“Okay Keith, be honest,” Shiro exists his en suite bathroom and looks at Keith with nervousness  "should I dye my hair?“ He passes a hand through the white tuff of hair falling over his forehead, biting his lip and waiting for Keith’s answer.

“What?” Keith rises from the bed and sits to look at Shiro, dumbfounded “You are joking, right?”

 _That’s not an answer_ Shiro thinks. He lets out a frustrated huff and lets his hands fall from his hair to the hem of his shirt, where he plays with it to avoid looking at Keith “Doesn’t it make me look… old?”

It wasn’t looking old what actually concerned Shiro; it was looking different -worse.

His white hairs yet another testimony of how much he had changed. Of how much pain he’d gone through.

Shiro knew he couldn’t erase his scars and he couldn’t regrow a hand, as much as he wished for it. Ironically, he couldn’t even think of taking his prosthetic off -even if having something made by galras permanently attached to his body turned his stomach- and having to see nothing where his hand - _his dominant hand_ \- used to be. He hates it, but he hates the thought of being rendered useless without it even more. Specially now that so many people depended on him.

His hair, however, he could change that. It should have been easy, surely alteans must have invented a product to change hair colour at some point. He could dye it black, like it used to be, and regain a small sense of normalcy. He could pretend he had some control on the effects his imprisonment had on his body.

He wanted things to go back to how they were, but he didn’t want to admit to Keith how sick he felt sometimes when he looked at the mirror. There was too big of a dissonance between the last memory he had of himself and what he was now. His memory was full of lapses and for some reason he felt not knowing how he ended like this was more painful than any memory he had of his imprisonment. But Keith worries so much about him already, and always trusts him to be strong, so Shiro can’t bring himself to dump all his insecurities on him. So he puts it as a simple aesthetic problem.

“No it doesn’t” Keith answered flatly. When Shiro gives him a disbelieving look, Keith lets out a frustrated sight and admits, “Okay, it does make you look a little older, but it’s not like it makes you look decrepit.”

“Wow thank you, Keith.”

“Why are you so worried about how your hair looks? I think it looks fine, I like it.” Keith’s tone sounds overly defensive, like Shiro thinking himself ugly is a personal attack to him. His eyes are fierce and demand an answer from Shiro.

Shiro ends up caving to Keith’s gaze -he’s always been weak for it- but not after a few tense minutes of hesitation.

“It’s not just the hair, Keith. It’s- It’s everything!” Shiro sighs and tries to swallow the lump of his throat but his next words still come out choked “Just look at me! I’m covered in scars, my hand is a piece of metal and I can’t even train without having a fucking panic attack most days. It’s just- I’m just wrong, Keith! I can’t look at myself in the mirror without feeling despair. I don’t even know what happened to me to get any of this,” Shiro gestures at his body “and I just feel.. broken, you know? Like I’m not how I used to be -how I _should_ be.”

Shiro wants to say more, say it louder, but his voice catches on his throat and refuses to come out.

“Shiro… Come here.” Sadness is pouring from Keith’s expression in waves as he takes Shiro’s hand and gently guides him to the bed to sit beside him. He takes Shiro’s human hand between his two hands and caresses it softly, his gaze cast down to it, and speaks to Shiro in the softest tone he can manage. “Many bad things happened to you when you were trapped. Things that I, maybe even _you,_ will never know the full extent of. And that left a mark on you. In more ways than physical” He squeezes Shiro’s hand to bring his attention and looks him in the eyes. “I can tell, Shiro. I can tell you’ve changed. And not by your scars or your hair. It’s-” Keith chokes on his own words, trying to contain his emotions “You don’t smile that often. You writhe in your sleep. _When_ you even manage to sleep. And… And when you kiss me now it’s- it’s like you are trying to absorb me. Like I’m somehow going to disappear from your grasp if you let up.”

Shiro cast his eyes down with guilt, tear threatening to spill from them. “I already lost you once.”

“No, Shiro, _I_ lost _you_!” Keith hadn’t intended for the words to come with that force and he flinches when Shiro looks at him with shocked hurt in his eyes, like if Keith had just punched in the stomach “I lost you” Keith repeats in a much softer ton, “And I don’t think I’ve fully got you back.” 

Shiro looks down again, hunched as if trying to fold on himself, and Keith sees one tear finally escape his eye. Keith hugs him to himself, both amazed and pained at the image of such a big and physically strong man looking so small and fragile on his arms. He feels guilty for not only taking the focus from Shiro’s pain, but also for hurting him more in the process. Shiro has gone through so much and for once he is letting out his insecurities, and Keith should be there for him. He figures it’s not to late for that.

Keith brings a hand to Shiro’s cheek and softly lifts his head to look him in the eyes.

“Shiro, you are not the same boy that left for Kerberos. So much has happened since then. But that doesn’t make you…worse _._ Bad things happened to you, but they didn’t _make you_ bad. Or ugly. Or broken.“ Keith brushes Shiro’s white lock of hair to place a kiss to his forehead. He feels Shiro nod lightly under his lips and kisses him again, stroking Shiro’s back in a soothing circle.

“There are many things that haven’t changed, though.” Keith adds after a while. “For instance, I love you just the same.”

Shiro starts quietly sobbing, hiding on Keith’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him tightly almost climbing into his lap and mumbles and tiny “I love you too.”

After a while Shiro stops crying but Keith never stops running his hand up and down his back reassuringly. 

“So.. I should keep my white hair, then?” Shiro is joking now, any feeling of shame gone. He will probably still feel uneasy about his hair for some time, but Shiro knows that with Keith’s support he can start accepting what happened to him and work on healing.

Keith huffs a laugh and runs his fingers through Shiro’s hair “I actually like how it looks on you.” When Shiro gives him a weak smile he adds “Though your undercut needs some trimming, it’s starting to look a little long and running my fingers through it doesn’t feel as good any more”

“Oh no, that can’t be.” Shiro gets up from the bed suddenly, surprising Keith. He worries for a moment, but any concerns disappears the moment he sees Shiro’s smile.“I have a razor in the bathroom, would you cut it for me?”

Keith smiles softly and takes the hand Shiro offers him “Of course”

Trimming Shiro’s hair takes a lot more than it should and his undercut ends up looking a little crooked, and Keith sneaking kisses into his nape every ten seconds is totally to blame, but Shiro does not complain at any moment. In fact, he feels happier than he has been in a very long time. Keith’s affections are something he definitely doesn’t want to change.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm late but I really wanted to take part in the month. I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Find me on tumblr at [cosmic-choclet](http://www.cosmic-choclet.tumblr.com)


End file.
